The Romford Beach Club is a ‘Members Only Private Club’ situated on the sunkissed Romford Beach, which is lapped by the pollution free waters of the River Rom. You will not need any glossy sales pitch from us and frankly we can’t be bothered to provide one – you know why you want to be a member. Your probation officer probably recommended us.
Annual membership is £200 payable in cash. A joining fee of £500 should keep the hoi poloi out and is required in cash prior, to ones application being considered. In the likely event that your membership is rejected, the joining fee is non refundable. All decisions are final and at the descretion of the Club Management.
Let me take this opportunity to welcome any individuals who wish to apply for membership. Membership is open to all genders, races, disabilities and sexual preferences.
A criminal record for crimes related to ‘sexual offences’ will stand you in good stead with the Membership Committee – especially its’ Chairman the Right Reverend ‘Johnny’ Goodboy.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Pablo Escalator
Club Chairman
